I’m a terrible blogger. I weave in and out of writing, get busy, forget, remember, get excited, write, post, then forget again. Sometimes I have this revelation and think, “Ah..I’d like to write that down somewhere.” That’s when I’m come cyber running back here. Hey, friends. It’s been a while.
I experienced another Disciple Now this last weekend. I’ll be honest…I was very nervous about this one. I can’t explain why…I just felt like I didn’t have anything to offer up to the girls in my group.
Saturday morning, my co-leader and I felt like we’d hit a wall with our students. We read aloud what we thought was a pretty simple verse, but the girls just didn’t quite understand what was being said. We struggled and scratched for them to take the text deeper, but we just kept rearranging the words and finding synonyms in the hopes that we’d just move on.
I’m sure the girls could feel how frustrated we were. We so desperately didn’t want them to leave without feeling the gravity of the gospel that we made it about us.
We just wanted to be good teachers. We wanted to be good leaders. I’m sure somewhere deep down I wanted one of my students to stand up in front of all the other students and talk about how great of a leader I was and how much she learned from me.
What is that??
The moment we become so selfish as to beat the gospel into people for our own sakes is the moment we lose everything Christ lived and died for.
After sharing my frustrations with other leaders, I realized what I was saying. The more times I verbalized my feelings, the more I understood how selfish I was being. Since when is sharing the gospel about me?
The gospel speaks for itself, first of all. We read through some of Romans 8 to try and help the girls to understand the gravity of the lesson and all of a sudden it all clicked. I didn’t serenade the girls with my fantastic reading skills. I’m a master reader…my professor told me so. God’s word shone through the darkness of our confusion and clarified and enlightened.
Why do we do that? Why do we try so hard to get the world to see us as a “good Christian”? I don’t even know what that means? What on earth is a “good Christian”? None of us are good. We’re depraved and sinful, but the love of God changes us and it’s by His grace and mercy that we are able to serve Him and His people.
I started realizing how we use social media to up our Christian status. I scrolled through my Facebook news feed and found statuses directed to God. Those prayers aren’t kept private, between ourselves and God. What’s the point of posting them? So people will “like” them? What does that do? Does it get to God’s ears faster?
I post song lyrics, yes. I post Bible verses, yeah. What’s the purpose? Am I doing it so people will “like” it and see that I’m an active Christian? Or am I doing it because it’s something God put on my heart to share in the hopes that someone that needs that encouragement will see it?
There’s probably not even anyone that reads these posts, but I write them in the hopes that someone is on the same page as me. Or that someone can find encouragement that they aren’t the only one.