I’m at that stage in my life where I’ve seen every episode of “Say Yes to the Dress.”
Wedding season is always an emotional roller-coaster for me. I’m also that girl at every wedding that’s crying. It’s amazing how easily I can cry. I’ve always said I’m not a “cry-er”…I’m more like a “weep-er.”
“Always a bridesmaid (or wedding guest) never a bride.” That’s so stupid. Whoever came up with that phrase should be…she should be…she’s the bane of my existence whoever she is. And we aaalll know it was a “she!”
Wedding season does have positives for us single ladies. For one, we get to see dozens of examples of weddings. We make note of all of the little things we like and copy and paste in our brains the things we don’t like.
Recently, I experienced a low point. One of those, “no one will ever want me or love me or want to marry me so I’ll never have children and always just be the cool aunt and teach other people’s kids and I’ll be a sad lonely old woman that has a bunch of cats and people pity” kind of days. Okay…more like weeks. Then I attended a wedding that was so very Christ-centered that it snapped me back to reality.
It really was an important moment in my journey down the path of self-pity. God’s timing is always better than mine. Why would I want to rush into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship? If I’m not ready in God’s eyes, then I’d be a crap girlfriend. Been there, done that. If I’d be a crap girlfriend, then that can only lead to being a crap wife. We all deserve an awesome, Christ-centered relationship and marriage because we are children of the creator of the Universe. That’s something worth waiting for. When I’m busy feeling sorry for myself, I miss out on rejoicing with my friends in the love that they’ve found.
When I was in early high school, I was feeling discouraged because all of my friends were dating and I felt like nobody wanted me. I remember talking to a friend about how I was feeling and she said that I should start dating. That way, I will know what I want in a husband and I’ll already have some relationship experience when I meet “him.”
I’m really old fashioned. I’m not the type to just walk up to any ol’ Joe and ask him to the sock hop. (Did I take the old fashioned theme too far?) Don’t date so that you can weed out the bad ones. There’s a great Gardener doing the weeding and upkeep for you. He’s handling the hard part. You just have to hold tight. I’m not saying its wrong to date…I’m just saying that there’s a lot of awesome things that come from waiting, which we’ll talk about more in future posts of this series.
Patiently wait for His best.
One of my friends says that she didn’t seek to glorify God in her past relationships. She also didn’t strive to guard her heart. These both taught her important lessons, but also cause her to bring a lot of emotional baggage into her future marriage. I hope my husband will love me for me and not for how much dating experience I’ve had.
Our Christian culture tends to lean towards teachings about finding the right person, when in reality we should be striving to be the right person.
“He’s the one…”
“She’s the one…”
What about you? Are YOU the one? Are you being the best version of yourself? A guy friend told me once, “Every girl wants Prince Charming right now, but they don’t realize that their prince may not be ready yet. Girls will chase after any guy who gives them attention hoping that they’ll somehow grow into the man they dreamed of, but not every frog turns out to be a prince.” Wouldn’t it be best if we entered into a relationship when God says we’re ready, when we know we’re ready, and when we know the other person is ready? Let’s just all be ready! Relationships can suffer when the timing isn’t right. This is especially true if friends become a romantic couple before the time is right. Some damages seem irreparable. Don’t worry. We’ll talk more next week about dating! My friends have given me a lot of different opinions! Exciting stuff!
I remember the first time I read Song of Solomon 8:4, “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (NIV). I also love the NLT version, “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.” I love the idea of making a covenant with God, promising Him that we won’t push the boundaries of ourselves and His will and that we will wait until the time is right.
I love this post by Michael Lawrence!
[next up: an unprotected heart.]
Advice from an [unmentionables] friend:
Get to know guys in groups. Develop friendships before anything else. Sure, you’ll have that chemistry right off the bat – in many cases. But take things slowly times a billion. Don’t be alone with a guy. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that regardless of how well you think you have self-control…you don’t.
You know I’ve always got a song to relate things to! This is one of my favorites by Christy Nockels, “Already All I Need.”