It’s been a long time, friends. A lot has happened in the last 5 months. I’ve been so incredibly busy with school, work, friends, family, etc., that I haven’t even had time to stop and put my thoughts down.
I’ve been busy. What an excuse, right? Are you buying that?
Lately, though, He has given me rest (Matt. 11:28) and I’ve been able to sleep peacefully (Psalm 4:8). I’m probably the most anxious person in the world. Seriously. If there’s an anxiety contest out there somewhere, I want in. Even though He tells me not to be anxious about anything (Phil. 4:6), I’m anxious about everything. Sick of the word “anxious”, yet? Yeah, me too.
Over the last few months, I’ve become a person I never expected out of myself. Have you ever done that? Realized you’ve been on a path your whole life and never strayed…then wondered what it’d be like to stray? Well, I’m pretty weak apparently, because I gave in. I haven’t taken up drugs or anything that most people would consider “straying from the path of righteousness”, but I can tell you that today was the first time I’ve been to church in a while.
I know. Believe me. You don’t even want me to start in on my list of excuses for that one.
After I click to post this blog, I know a few people are going to be all worried and concerned, but have faith in the God you love as much as I do.
I was so in love with my Redeemer that I began to believe it wasn’t real; it couldn’t be. How could a love that all consuming with a non-physical person be possible? I thought I was being silly, in a sense.
I was wrong.
Oh, how I’ve missed those intimate times with my Savior. I’ve missed reading His love letters to me and hearing others sing about His love. I became complacent and I can tell you now that that will never happen again.
I decided to rely on myself for a while. That didn’t turn out so well. I wouldn’t recommend it.
I became conformed to the patterns of this world (Rom. 12:2), which is exactly what I was warned not to do.
I saw people I thought were my friends and “good” Christians (whatever that means) turning and revealing their true colors. I lost faith in what it means to be a follower of Christ.
I saw how love-less the world has become and it scared me. Pastors and youth ministers are teaching about people who are wrong and are living in sin, but they’re not teaching that their congregation and students should LOVE THE SINNERS ANYWAY. We’re all sinners, after all. Aren’t we? I became bitter with the church and their uniformed teachings about wrong versus right. I thought about all the issues I’ve taken to people I admired in the church and thought…why didn’t they tell me that love was the answer?
Today at a new church that I’m going to be checking out, the pastor said something that echoed in my brain: “Do we care more about the point we’re trying to make or the difference we can make in people’s lives?”
Colossians 4:5-6 says, “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Full of GRACE and SEASONED with salt.
Have you been graceful with a flicker of salt, or are you pouring on the salt and throwing in a, “but Jesus loves you” in the end?
My dear friend Amanda invited me to check out her church in Mansfield and I can already tell that I’m in the right place. I can’t wait to get involved with the youth group and see those teenagers fall in love with their Prince of Peace. They’ll probably inspire me to keep writing. Well, they’ll inspire me and the Lord will compel my fingers to type. That’s usually how it works out. It’s interesting how this blog has so far been inspired by 2 different youth groups that the Lord has put in my path. I see a pattern forming.
Listening to: “Running” by Hillsong Live